I don't want this to be over...

Sunday, July 27, 2008

OBS! ♥

Ohmygosh OBS REALLY ROCKED!

I ♥ NILAUTAMA!

Teehee. Many things happened during these 5 days and (as hard as it is to believe it) I think the 15 of us really more or less bonded together and got to know each other even better! ♥ Although it was tiring but it was all worth it lo!

Mmmm lemme see if i can remember all the things that happened.

DAY #1:

Went to school and chionged last minute homework before we had to gather in the gallery. Then after waiting for a long time we finally went to the open area in front of the generaloffice to wait and gathered in our groups [GROUP15! :D ahahahah]. Realised that there was exactly 10 guys to 5 girls HAHA ratio 1:2 lawl.

So we set off after headcount/attendance taking etc and reached Punggol Jetty in around an hour plusplus? Met our instructor fongfong (♥!) and waited. Had icebreaker-ish games and halfway it rained ): Wore ponchos and tried (unsuccessfully) to protect our dear belongings and finally went up the boat.

When we reached Pulau Ubin we had to walk from the jetty to the shore where campsite2 was, and it was this long road that only had railings on one side, then yayun was afraid that we'll fall -.- LOL Met up with the guys in our group (cos we got on different boats) and went to put our bags at Block5 ahahaha. Yayun and TianQi were our daddy and mummy for the day ahahaha so hilarious can (:

Couldn't really remember what we did but we had the utamatree (which got damaged by dogs over the night ): ) and the trustfall (which was damn qian4bian3).The packing and stock taking was the worse/most hectic/boring thing that we did lo next to the lastday's cleaning duties ugh. haha

Cooked, pitched tent, dinnered, bathed, gathered at the tree, reflected, played, climbed up the 101 wishing steps and slept. Could still remember that I thought it wasn't so bad for day one lo ahhaha wasn't really wrong lawl

-end of day one-

DAY #2:

Will continue some other time :X :D

Labels: camp, obs, utama

♡ I'll remember you { 1:08 AM }

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Quick post, cos i'mma going piano after this. Sorry everyone, but if you hate rants/sad stuff i suggest you skip my post.

I see things from the sidelines sometimes, but most of the time i'm stuck right smack in the middle of everything and the sides of the entire issue gets blurred. I don't claim to be all knowing or anything, but I know.

I'm not stupid you know, I do have eyes and ears and a mind. I do know that some things aren't as simple as they look, and even though i'm not supposed to know, I already do, and it doesn't make things become the way they were if i just act.

You don't know what's going on with me, hell, do you even care? I just wish that sometimes you'd open your eyes to everything that's going on around you and realise it.

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I know its getting unbearable, and I agree. Things change sometimes and you can't get them back anymore. I know what we've said sometimes in passing may affect you, and I'm sorry. We don't meant them but I guess its our fault.

I am coming to this point in my life whereby I just don't want to think about it and bother about it anymore. Its just the start, but I'm already failing and falling, how am i supposed to continue on and make everyone proud just like I promised?

I don't want to feel this way, but I already am.

♡ I'll remember you { 1:48 PM }

Read kristalynn's blog just now and i'm just feeling so guilty.

TO KRISTALYNN MY DEAR:

Hey my dear, I don't know if it's me or isit the other seniors, but yes i agree too, thr's always a limit to how much one can take, and even though we're seniors we shouldn't order you all around and stuffs ): sorry dearie. If you feel that its like this again next time (hopefully thr isn't but yea) thn just tell us yea?

I'msorryi'msorryi'msorry.

I know a thousand sorrys won't make things rewind, but I hope you'll forgive us all.

==================================

cca used to cheer me up considerably to no end, but nowadays I just don't feel the love like I used to ya know?

Its like as though I've changed.

I used to look forward to going to school just for the tuesdays and fridays with the comclubbers. cca was the bright spot on the horizon for me as the people there are all the ones I zihigh with, cry with, emo with, get angry with.

Now...

True, we're still together, going (more or less) strong, and still as one. But lately I just don't get that sense of love and all that I had for comclub.

I don't know if its just me changing or what, but I don't want this to happen. So many things have changed, and comclub's one of the only constants in my life. If my feelings for it were to change I think there wouldn't be any form of order any more in life.

Maybe its cos of the people, or maybe its just cos of the many many things that's making life so damn irritating and sucky, but sometimes change isn't good, cos its irreversible.

I just am so tired right now. I don't wanna think about all these things. Especially not about you.

♡ I'll remember you { 12:08 AM }

Friday, July 18, 2008

I used to think it would all work out fine.
Guess I was wrong.

You know what they say, the higher your expectations, dreams, and hopes, the harder and faster you'll fall when you find out the truth eventually.

This is what you get when you're a hopeless _.
Sighs.

♡ I'll remember you { 11:53 PM }

Sunday, July 13, 2008

I am speechless.
Things have been getting more and more difficult to bear. There's just so many things that I wished that I could tell you, yet I can't, because I just don't want to know what will happen if I did tell you everything.

I'm not going to school tomorrow because of a certain disability (haha minor minor one lah) that I had so suddenly gotten yesterday night. Went for CIP balloon selling today at City Hall and OUCH the pain was so darn intense luh hurhur but anyway, the balloons and the children over there were damn cute luh ahahah.

Was having quite a good shot at selling all of our (nat me and yayun's) balloons at Funan there that we even went back (rather it was nat who went back lah cos i couldn't bear to walk all th way back in my... condition ugh i feel so pathetic) and got a second batch of balloons but lo and behold we got chased away by the security guard there.

And to think that Funan really had alot of kids there. Didn't really believe it at first when the bubbletea stall auntie told us (we were having our 10 minute break there. All the walking's tiring ohkay? :D). But then we went to 'check it out' and HAHA we got peopleeeee :D

[Oh and we brought one balloon home each :D HAHAHAHA felt like a child when i was coming back on the mrt with yayun and nat lo. Plus, they both used the helium in their balloons to make their voices sound damn chipmunk-like lo. SO DARN HILARIOUS ;D]

Since she was chosen, don't gripe and moan and complain that you can't stand her anymore, becuase you just have to. If you really think that she's overbearing, demanding, and unreasonable, then tell her to her face in a nice and respectful way.
Today was a happyhappy dayyyy :D
because balloons makes people happy :D
Constructive criticism is helpful and important, but its never going to help you nor her if you are just going to continue to flame her (either behind her back or otherwise). And influencing others is just not going to work too, because if they really believe in what you say, they would already have thought that way even before you planted the seeds of doubt (if any) in them.

I don't want to know because I'm afraid.

♡ I'll remember you { 8:51 PM }

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Today was speech day and I woke up at 5.30 just to reach school EARLIER to sort out filming equipment and where we were supposed to be stationed at.

Ran alot today up and down, and there were so many things that could have gone wrong (like the last minute tripods we got and the tapes that were given heng-ly by the teachers). We were in the slight-danger-zone at the start cos all th rv-ians were already coming in to be seated when we're still not done yet. ohwells

Had a nasty encounter with 3 brainless sec1s. Can't believe it. Were we that childish when we were their age?

Will blog about the actual events some other time. Am reallyreally tired.

Silence is sometimes all that there is to us.

♡ I'll remember you { 10:02 PM }

Friday, July 11, 2008

Whenever I feel like blogging I never have the time to, but when I do, the words just get caught in my throat/brain/body.

Its never possible to make everyone happy, and today was the perfect example. We tried, yes we really did try, to make things better, but then came along this incident and everything changed.

======================================

I know that I’ve failed you, and I’m sorry for being such a disappointment. We will work harder, and I guess time is not a factor anymore. We have to grow up, and fast, even if it means risking everything just to make it right, we will do it. We won’t let _ and _ people ruin us, and neither would we let them influence everyone and cause us all to die right in front of our eyes.

We WILL keep us going,
that is my promise.

==========================

Today was such a disappointment. I never knew that you all were like this. I thought you all would know when and where must you draw the line between jokes and the real thing, but I guess not everyone saw the line today.

==========================

The past can't be changed, but what can be changed is what happens today and in the days to come.

Labels: emo, muses

♡ I'll remember you { 10:45 PM }

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Aye, so I've been horribly on hiatus for a VERY long time already. Was thinking through certain stuffs and I came to the conclusion that it all was so not worth it.

Haven't had time to blog/post or even just to write about comclub's camp, and it's like, a damn overdued post, so i'll post the first part of it here (:

Okay, so i'm going to blog about COMCLUB'S 2D1N CAMP ;D

On the whole I thought that all the organizers (which includes all the groupleaders and facilitatorssss :D!) did a great job :D YAYYYEEE ;D So hopefully we'll have a camp every year HAHA :D

Kay luh, in the morning all the organizers met up in LT4 to get ready for the camp at a not-so-ungodly-but-still-quite-early time of 8.30. Then me sophia kristalynn and meien went to the pullup bars to get ready the strings with biscuits attached to them for the game.

Crapped and joked around already then we went to the canteen, where chengyu, sylvia, shuyinn and serming were, trying to make the fresh "delicious" fruit juice for the icebreakers. Then chengyu so -.- didn't blend properly, then there were so many cups with the fruit still inside partially unblended lo! hahahahaha!

Okay, then at around 9.30 the people started coming in, and after everyone was there and settled down the NJRC and camp groups were announced.

YAY GO APHRODITE! ;D

hahahaha Me weisheng and raffles were the only ones in my campgroup cos jiahao didn't come O.O lawl ponned siaaaaaa.

So initially it was damn awkward and silent in my group luh, but after the icebreakers the 3 games (splat, entangle, and follow the leader) plus a small round of lao3 ying1 zhuo1 xiao3 ji1 (the one where everyone stand behind the mother "chicken" -- which happened to be sophia haha! -- and try not to get caught by the lao3ying1). Then it was damn cool lawl, cos we all chiong ah and ran one quarter of a round together, like a flock of chickens like that HAHAHA ;D

After icebreakers was lunch, and we had the holy chicken rice (again LOL). Then we lagged very badly, and in the end we overshot abit, cos Mr Suria settled the camp consent forms thing damn long, then in the end also didn't talk to us. So we waited for awhile more before going to the various places for our station games.

First for my group (who was group 1 :D) we had the three-legged race, which we lost T.T lawl, so sad right!? D: ahahahaha then we went to the comlab outside to play the leg scrabble, which was to collect pebbles with various letters on them, and thn move them with our leg to form the words rvinfocommclub

Kay, then we went to uh outside the music room there to do the 8 tasks to get the puzzle pics and HAHAHA 3 PEOPLE IS BETTER THAN HAVING FOUR ;D did 17 pumping, 50 claps and ran like hell. had to get others to write good stuff about our group and the comments were damn crap one but they still accept :D

Then had a short 15 minute break, where we went into the LT3 to enjoy and blow aircon awhile.

Hahaha, will post the second half some other time :D

I thought that I wouldn't have to worry about it cos it'll never be known, but just when I thought that nothing else can become more screwed up than it already is, I found out the truth. I wish I could take back whatever it was, but its too late.
******************************************
Don't think just cos I am ___ means that everything you did to me and my friends became null and void, because words said and things done can never be taken back/swallowed back/erased just like that with a single word. I don't really care how sad or how appologetic you are/is/were/whatever. Point is that enough is enough, you can just remember this: if you disrespect me / insulted me, I'm fine with it, because its just between me and you. But if you insult my friend/disrespect my friend, then I'm sorry, but you're unforgivable.

Labels: camp, emo, muses

♡ I'll remember you { 8:54 PM }